Satnam, the truth, the loving name,
causes everything to start,
everything to stay......
That is how it goes in the hyms, Satnam. Its more then just the true name, I basically don't have the words to describe the deepest meaning of this word. But hey, it changed my life from Sikh to an amritdhari Khalsa. In my understanding, Satnam means god. The god that we worship, and also the god which is in all of us. Let me tell you guys how this affected me in my life.
It all began in the year 2005, when I was 14 years old. Already commiting a lot of sins, I felt that somehow I need to change myself. Thats when I got the blessing and become an amritdhari. Believe it or not, that numarous numology and zodiac chart has said that I an a person who is fond of women. Well, that may be true, but I want to prove that there is an exception for me. I want to be different so that I will not get into entanglement in this illusive world. Just this word pop up of my mind, Satnam.
Before all this, I already knew how to do meditation, but I don't practice it unless I am somehow forced to do so. I can't even speak punjabi which should be the main language that the SGGS is written in, and even after 14 years of listenning to rehrass, I can't even read it fluently with a gutka. I knew that I really need to change thing around or else, I will be as what they said that I will be.
I thank the naam because of his acceptance. But now the true challenge comes. I attended the anual semalan 2005, and took my amrit there. I felt guilty when they touched my feet after the amrit sanchar ceremony, I was totally out of my mind of what they are doing, since then, I told myself this "I must change things and get thing right or else I am just a fool, I will let them down if I don't perform well".
Therefore, I made a wish, a very strong wish that has changed my life ever since. Its just 2 simple things that made me what I am today. Certainly, I didn't wish that I will be good in punjabi, haha, but what I wished for is to be able to sing hyms and play tabla. Since in Kuching here, I don't have a teacher to teach me all these stuff, I wished that god Himself will teach me. This was really not practical but WOW, in these few years, I am able to mimic shabads sang by raagis and also some of their playing style. I even created tunes to sing those hyms. And when I am really into it, even when I am singing, I don't feel that I am the one who is singing, but it felt really good.
This true name comes from a true heart, and the true heart comes from true love. Even the person without any feelings have love in his heart. From here, he/she will care of their love ones. Do you think a murderer don't have love? Do you think the rudolf hitler don't have love? Well, If you think so then you are wrong. Because everybody loves something, no matter it is a person, or somthing else like power. My love ties down to one single word Satnam. Its enough. It will be able to help me whenever I need his help. Although I can't see him with my naked eye(thats why sometimes I consider myself as a blind person), but I can see how His creation shows me the way.
Love is something you cant buy or sell, but it comes from the bottom of your heart. The love of Satnam is so great that whatever you want will be fulfilled. I want to take this oppertunity to say this: I love you Satnam!!!!!
5 weeks ago
